dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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