4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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