His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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