Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
