weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she peed on how many people?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
