I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize