I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
