I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
