Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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