you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
