hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
