i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just google imaged poop.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You pole danced in your parka.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
