We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's shark week go big or go home
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
