You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
