Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
