It's a beautiful day for a hangover
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
