Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
