HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
