dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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