All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
