Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
