Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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