we made out on top of his cat.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
