Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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