i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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