Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There r osticjed everywhere
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
