its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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