when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
