dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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