I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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