Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
