I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
