looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
