doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
