I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize
