Whod you bang
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i dont even know how to be here
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
They have beer where we have blood.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
