Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
