Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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