The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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