she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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