Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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