My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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