I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
