OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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