DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
