shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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