I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
