Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
