the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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