You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize