She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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