Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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