she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
