Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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