Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
