Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
