She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
