we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
