Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
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